I left home at the age of 17 to pursue my higher studies. I was naive, raw, gullible and zero on street smartness. I am 30 now and over these years I have met many people – some I am still in touch with, some I have forgotten about and some, well, I wish I forget about soon. But all these years came with many many learnings that made me decode life at each step. These come from my personal experiences, my failures, broken trusts, my self-doubts, my attempt at soul searching and my brushes with kind-hearted people at various stages of my life. I have spent many years in self-doubt and last one and a half-year in going back to basics. These come from that personal space. I have learnt them the hard way and with all my heart and soul I know them to be absolutely true. I hope all of you reading this, find what you are looking for. Here are my 30 truths since 30 years of existence, in no particular order –
If you keep looking over your shoulder, you will miss out on everything that is in front of you.
Gratitude is faith in motion. Forgiveness is giving yourself a chance at new possibilities. Changes are the only way to let the new enter. Let all these happen organically because no matter how hard you try, there is as much that you can control. Let it go…let it flow…life knows…life knows…Stay – in faith, in gratitude, in consciousness.
Forgiveness is, losing the hope that your past could have been any better.
Sympathy and Empathy are draining energies. The more you feel compelled to give out of obligation, pity or helplessness, the more it burns you out. Give out of Love, it comes back manifolds.
Intellect doesn’t capture everything, go by your gut.
When you get something you really really want easily or earlier than you had imagined, you will try to control it. CONTROL brings with it desperation and instills fear – of losing it, of it being snatched away from you. The art is about learning to hold it, not control it.
If you give someone 100 bucks and they don’t give it back, it is money well spent.
(Arranged Marriage in India) If you get rejected either due to caste, religion, social status, financial background or educational qualification, do not lose heart because it was never in the first place a rejection of YOU as a person. High percentage of rejections in an arranged marriage set-up are never about YOU, they are about something of the above that wasn’t compatible.
Till you are not in the life saving business, don’t try too hard, letting go has it’s own charm.
You will never be 100% ready to march ahead. March on anyway – with fear, with inhibitions, with doubts, half-prepared. There is never going to be an optimum perfect moment in your life, but, if you listen, there will be rhythm and timing to it.
Compassion is looking at the world with your heart eyes, trusting that your heart will not leave you astray.
If you want to achieve instant greatness, feel the wind in your hair, bring back that lost sense of accomplishment – all at the same time, grab your shoes and go for a RUN. In this everyday maddening life, running makes you feel invincible.
Hurt people, hurt, people! – (Greenberg, Noah Baumbach movie)
An overly optimistic individual is as out-of-balance as an extreme pessimist. A ‘Stoic’ state is the most balanced state of being.
He/She doesn’t call, text back, keep in touch, calls when he/she wants to feel better about themselves, it’s all about him/her all the time – they are either narcissistic (often self-centered and self-absorbed) or not into you at all. However loving they are, they don’t want you, they are feeding off off your undivided attention and devotion towards them. Be kind to yourself and LEAVE!!
Don’t believe when people tell you they are not spiritual. It’s like saying they are not emotional. All of us are emotions. All of us are Spirit, doesn’t that make us all Spiritual?
All of us need a resting place. Find your Center, make it your resting place. When in doubt, focus on service – help others. When in misery, help others. Always help others, at times you will magically end up helping your own self and end up finding your ground, your resting place.
Time runs slower and faster in our heads… tick..tock…tick tock tick…tock…tick…
Trust! Trust that anything that is rightfully yours already belongs to you spiritually. Whatever you are seeking is seeking you. “Jump and the net will appear”, said the wise one, the universe has your back.
Weight-loss is directly proportional to forgiveness. The moment you start to stop punishing yourself for not being good enough, thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, you will start shedding. Weight-loss is as much emotional, as physical.
Meritocracy over nepotism. Be classy! Be original! Be a hustler!
We weep when we break-up, we laugh at jokes. We were bad at math or maybe brilliant at it. We have broken dreams and a boss we hate. We were judged, we were trapped; we are fragile, we are scarred; we have lost, we have fought; we love love and hate hate and still feel like we are all separate?!… In fact, we are all the same – of the same planet, same star dust, same universe.
Listen. Give a good ear to someone in need, without judgement or advise. They will thank you for the questions you didn’t ask. Listen to your gut feeling, your body, your mind, your inner self; it is when you listen is when the path-breaking, the never-imagined, happens. Always always listen.
Sometimes all it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage. 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. (read somewhere, swear by it.)
“Learning curve” is a corporate term delicately used by a manager when he has to explain how you messed up huge. Learning curve is the management’s mirror that is going to reflect your appraisal or lack there of (trust me – been there done that!).
Vibes over everything else. If you feel drained or discouraged in general after meeting someone, keep them at a distance. If you feel charged and pumped up after meeting someone, keep them by your side, they are your people!
It is but an effort futile to believe in the universe, a higher power, superstitions, horoscopes and everybody else but not in yourself. Self-belief over every other belief. You will regret all the years you will spend in self-doubt. You will want to go back in time and re-live all the years you were drowning yourself in low self-esteem. Cut yourself some slack and rise above these, NOW.
The only way to free yourself from mediocrity, lack of intelligence, ignorance and unoriginality is to set out on a never ending quest for knowledge. Read. Read. Read, everything that catches your fantasy.
Writing is the best therapy. Write your dreams, feelings, hurts, ideas, stories down. The world might be looking for the story you haven’t yet written. When it is written, it is half true; when it is not, it is just a passing thought. Write.
When you are judging, you are not thinking. Judge less. You never really know until you are the one standing there – that knowledge, it changes things!